Your writing is absolutely sublime. One of the best things about substack is you can wander about, and suddenly find a mind that can write this well - that has a life you'll never know, that opens a window that you can look through; that gives you a line you have to stop and read again and again; that paints a picture that might be true or might not be true might just be a meld of all the films you ever saw - and never mind that it is a beautifully written and paced narrative, its also screaming with intelligence, vision and understanding. Best non-fiction I have read on here in a long while, and if it was actually fiction, then ...of course - the very best fiction.
Thank you so much for this lovely note, and I will add that it is very much non-fiction! Usually I write about recent experiences at the club. I only change names to respect people’s privacy. Also, I don't know who Victor is or what he wrote but I appreciate your response to him LOLSOB
In all of your writings, and especially this one, I love how you weave together a dozen or more ideas and stories and texts. The way your mind works is magic 🪄
I have nothing profound to add to this piece but your perspective on the election is refreshing and writing is so so great. Existing in the liberal echo chambers of the university makes the real world feel like a far away fantasy where institutional violence and marginalization of real people is something to be discussed in structured classrooms with other privileged individuals also disconnected from the general public. Really great stuff
Reading this was the most visceral experience I’ve had of the club since I left. It somehow made me miss it without the rose-colored glasses I’m usually wearing when I get nostalgic. You are such a thoughtful, compelling, and inspiring writer. Always rooting for you!
I went to reply to this lovely comment and ended up checking to see if I had missed any of your recent posts and love loved them!! Grateful for your words 🧡
Thank you for sharing this. I am awestruck by the very, very unique intelligence you possess. A very authentic to you kind of intelligence. A kind dripping in creative genius with just enough jolting of truth to hold together the structure of your beautifully crafted story.
I am furious on your behalf that you leave the club in the red on any night!
Wow thank you so much 😭😭😭 What a lovely compliment. And leaving in the red happens rarely, thank goodness, but when it does I have a hard time not having a sob on the floor uncontrollably moment.
Well when it does happen imagine you are surrounded by women with eyes of fire…because you are. Your work and message is really, really important. You know and understand things a psychologist or marriage counselor never would.
"I like being alone. I’m not sure I like the idea of being alone forever, or dying alone. I’m not sure if it’s the being alone part or the dying part that makes me uneasy. Sometimes, in my solitary life this past year, I feel envious of friends with lovers or partners or children or close-knit families. I wonder what it feels like to be constantly surrounded by love, in a literal sense. I wonder what is wrong with me for not knowing that feeling. I fear I will never know that feeling."
Oof! That was a vulnerable moment for me as a writer, but ultimately I decided to keep it because my hope was that others who feel similarly might feel less alone in that aloneness <3
I am also glad that you kept that paragraph, vulnerable, yes, but so definitive for no doubt so many of us. I am at the other end of the spectrum so to speak, being 66 and never having been a stripper or a sex worker but I’ve come back around to being a solitary person for the most part. I watch my brothers with their families and grandchildren and comfortable nice homes and wonder what it feels like.
When I first saw this comment it was truncated so I read “I kind of regret reading this before I turn the lights out” and my first thought was oh no!! Not you having nightmares of me “hovering,” “disembodied,” offering you “my parts” 🙀🤣
Hahah! That was such an interesting way to read that. It was all good. A cyclone hit last night so my mind was more focused on “if that giant fir tree falls on me then no one will be able to look after my dogs”. Anyway it’s still a great article and I’m sure I’ll be thinking about it throughout my shift.
Oh dear, well, that was my first not final thought, because apparently I’m very worried about giving people nightmares with my spectral metaphors LOLSOB. I hope you and your doggies are doing okay in the wake of the cyclone ❤️
After getting your cats UTI taken care of...give him wet food, maybe mixed with a little water or boxed/canned milk. Being desert animals they don't drink enough....
I am also a writer and not easily impressed and I couldn't complete this essay in one sitting. It is the most profound thing I've ever read. You just made sex work a microcosm of the real world and that's what it is, but you did it so beautifully, I can't even stumble out words. Cannot WAIT for your book or movie or whatever you do next. You are SO talented!
Just HAD to write a quick note, as I'll be rereading this several times to try to completely comprehend the complexities, wisdom-filled, knowledgeable, joyful, beautiful, thought provoking, natural flowing, tearful art of your Ab Fab words. So, a respectful thank you for sharing such a personal part of who you are, and reminding a 67 year old gay dude just how powerfully pleasing women can be. Keep those bullets (figuratively) close. Hugs
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and of course your very kind words don’t hurt 🤭… truth be told the last sentence about bullets is a riddle I have yet to fully interpret… but I am here for it. 🤗
My apologies. "Bullets" are what I call our words we've given to other's who then turn them against us to harm us in whatever childish way they may. If we're honest about ourselves, such as you are, then our "enemies" have nothing to "shoot" us with. And I'm fairly confident that you may possess a few bullets given to you from the audience members and choose to keep them privately unless the individual does something childish to try and harm you figuratively with words
Your writing is absolutely sublime. One of the best things about substack is you can wander about, and suddenly find a mind that can write this well - that has a life you'll never know, that opens a window that you can look through; that gives you a line you have to stop and read again and again; that paints a picture that might be true or might not be true might just be a meld of all the films you ever saw - and never mind that it is a beautifully written and paced narrative, its also screaming with intelligence, vision and understanding. Best non-fiction I have read on here in a long while, and if it was actually fiction, then ...of course - the very best fiction.
Thank you so much for this lovely note, and I will add that it is very much non-fiction! Usually I write about recent experiences at the club. I only change names to respect people’s privacy. Also, I don't know who Victor is or what he wrote but I appreciate your response to him LOLSOB
Nick, you said what I was thinking, thank you
great minds!😎
Single channel! 🤣❤️
Victor you are a despicable grifting shit weasel.
In all of your writings, and especially this one, I love how you weave together a dozen or more ideas and stories and texts. The way your mind works is magic 🪄
Thank you Pete 😭😭😭
“A culture of collective care is apparently so unimaginable that women would rather return to the old models of chivalry.”
Boom.
Heartbreakingly true apparently!
That may be one of the best essays I have ever read on the current human condition. What a powerful and extraordinary intellect.
Wow, what a compliment! 😭 Thank you so much for reading. 💛
You need to keep writing! You have a gift!
I have been writing since literally before I could even spell “the” 😅😹
I have nothing profound to add to this piece but your perspective on the election is refreshing and writing is so so great. Existing in the liberal echo chambers of the university makes the real world feel like a far away fantasy where institutional violence and marginalization of real people is something to be discussed in structured classrooms with other privileged individuals also disconnected from the general public. Really great stuff
Thank you! And absolutely, so so true.
Reading this was the most visceral experience I’ve had of the club since I left. It somehow made me miss it without the rose-colored glasses I’m usually wearing when I get nostalgic. You are such a thoughtful, compelling, and inspiring writer. Always rooting for you!
I went to reply to this lovely comment and ended up checking to see if I had missed any of your recent posts and love loved them!! Grateful for your words 🧡
Thank you for sharing this. I am awestruck by the very, very unique intelligence you possess. A very authentic to you kind of intelligence. A kind dripping in creative genius with just enough jolting of truth to hold together the structure of your beautifully crafted story.
I am furious on your behalf that you leave the club in the red on any night!
Wow thank you so much 😭😭😭 What a lovely compliment. And leaving in the red happens rarely, thank goodness, but when it does I have a hard time not having a sob on the floor uncontrollably moment.
Well when it does happen imagine you are surrounded by women with eyes of fire…because you are. Your work and message is really, really important. You know and understand things a psychologist or marriage counselor never would.
Love this mental image ❤️🔥
"I like being alone. I’m not sure I like the idea of being alone forever, or dying alone. I’m not sure if it’s the being alone part or the dying part that makes me uneasy. Sometimes, in my solitary life this past year, I feel envious of friends with lovers or partners or children or close-knit families. I wonder what it feels like to be constantly surrounded by love, in a literal sense. I wonder what is wrong with me for not knowing that feeling. I fear I will never know that feeling."
Right in the guts.
Oof! That was a vulnerable moment for me as a writer, but ultimately I decided to keep it because my hope was that others who feel similarly might feel less alone in that aloneness <3
THIS!
I am also glad that you kept that paragraph, vulnerable, yes, but so definitive for no doubt so many of us. I am at the other end of the spectrum so to speak, being 66 and never having been a stripper or a sex worker but I’ve come back around to being a solitary person for the most part. I watch my brothers with their families and grandchildren and comfortable nice homes and wonder what it feels like.
I’m am both an admirer and practitioner of bleeding truths on the sidewalk. And ooof is right!
“Bleeding truths on the sidewalk” is such a gorgeous turn of phrase!
this was amazing
Thank you so much 🥹💖
This was such an unreal read. Thank you so much for sharing. I kind of regret reading this before I turn the lights out because now my mind is racing.
When I first saw this comment it was truncated so I read “I kind of regret reading this before I turn the lights out” and my first thought was oh no!! Not you having nightmares of me “hovering,” “disembodied,” offering you “my parts” 🙀🤣
Hahah! That was such an interesting way to read that. It was all good. A cyclone hit last night so my mind was more focused on “if that giant fir tree falls on me then no one will be able to look after my dogs”. Anyway it’s still a great article and I’m sure I’ll be thinking about it throughout my shift.
Oh dear, well, that was my first not final thought, because apparently I’m very worried about giving people nightmares with my spectral metaphors LOLSOB. I hope you and your doggies are doing okay in the wake of the cyclone ❤️
We all escaped unscathed and the house and yard are fine thankfully. Sadly my cat got a UTI, but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the storms fault. 💸💸💸
After getting your cats UTI taken care of...give him wet food, maybe mixed with a little water or boxed/canned milk. Being desert animals they don't drink enough....
"the right is guilty of conflating critical thinking with state violence—then preferring it, the violence." This is an incredible analysis.
Thank you so much!
This is a masterpiece!
You are too kind 😭😭😭
Wow what extraordinary writing. Mind blown.
Thank you so much 😭💛
Jesus H that was phenomenal. Grateful for the read.
Thank you so much! 😭💛
I am also a writer and not easily impressed and I couldn't complete this essay in one sitting. It is the most profound thing I've ever read. You just made sex work a microcosm of the real world and that's what it is, but you did it so beautifully, I can't even stumble out words. Cannot WAIT for your book or movie or whatever you do next. You are SO talented!
And I shared a link to your article everywhere. xx
Floored by your words—they truly mean the (whole new) world to me. Haha couldn’t resist a play on your username 🤭
I’m so so grateful! 😭😭
Just HAD to write a quick note, as I'll be rereading this several times to try to completely comprehend the complexities, wisdom-filled, knowledgeable, joyful, beautiful, thought provoking, natural flowing, tearful art of your Ab Fab words. So, a respectful thank you for sharing such a personal part of who you are, and reminding a 67 year old gay dude just how powerfully pleasing women can be. Keep those bullets (figuratively) close. Hugs
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and of course your very kind words don’t hurt 🤭… truth be told the last sentence about bullets is a riddle I have yet to fully interpret… but I am here for it. 🤗
My apologies. "Bullets" are what I call our words we've given to other's who then turn them against us to harm us in whatever childish way they may. If we're honest about ourselves, such as you are, then our "enemies" have nothing to "shoot" us with. And I'm fairly confident that you may possess a few bullets given to you from the audience members and choose to keep them privately unless the individual does something childish to try and harm you figuratively with words